Lessons in life...

I realize people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I have had some betrayals in the past year...some people got left in the drama. I choose not to be around the one of the ones who betrayed me but I have to be around the other since he is my son's father. I do keep quite around the ones that have talked their mess instead of being supportive around the time of my break down in life. I say choose your friends wisely...don't air out all your business...they will use it against you in the end! I trust God will bring everything to light & to justice. He has never forsaken me...He has brought me to it & will bring me through it!

BJ might not have been "the one" for me but we share a child together; whether he cares to have a heart or not, that's on him. I have let my anger go but my ego & heart are still hurt. I love him with all his flaws & all...just not in love with him but I know we will never be & I have accepted that & have moved on. I will continue to pray about our situation & that God takes ahold of BJ, since I know there is a stronghold that the devil has on him. I wish him the very best in life but in order to receive blessings he has to make things right in his life. I always said that in order to know it's love you will bring someone in your world & to let them know your flaws & all regardless of what it is & if they can't accept that then it really wasn't love & wasn't meant to be. I hope he realizes this sooner rather than later! But I can't help or lend advice to someone that doesn't want to be helped or accept responsibilities in life.

“Everytime I’ve done something that doesn’t feel right. It ended up not being right”- Mario Cuomo

What I derserve....

I'm listening to Alanis' song You Learn...if you listen to the lyrics, it's speaking the truth. You live you learn, you love you learn, you cry you learn, you bleed you learn, you scream you learn.

I've been thinking about the title of my blog...I'm realizing the adversities I've been through in the past year, are what is going to make me stronger as a woman, as a person & as a mother. I KNOW that I deserve better than what I've been given in the past as a lover. I know I have to be patient, it's hard but I know I have to do it.

I like someone that knows a lot about me & the things I've been going through. But last night I decided to pull away from him. It's nothing he did...he has been understanding for the most part, since his situation isn't as bad as mine but we're almost in the same boat. But it's more of I'm not letting my heart heal & all the hurt/pain fall by the waist side. So I'm going to take time out & live my life, & let myself heal. I will keep things with him as platonic as I can. But whatever happens happens.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.”-Maya Angelou

On Eagle's Wing...

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings. Bear you on the breath of dawn. Make you to shine like the sun. And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

I was sitting in church on Sunday just taken in these lyrics to this song, On Eagle's Wings. To know that I serve an awesome God is such a breathe taken experience. I think about the past year & everything that I have been through...I know that my God would NOT put me more than I can bare. He has been at my side even when I didn't think anyone was there. I always believe there's a reason for everything that happens in life.

Kaleb is growing everyday, which is crazy to know he will be 4 months next week! :) He gets to spend his first weekend with his grandparents (paternal). I'm blessed to know that I have their support when it comes to Kaleb. He is a healthy, happy & growing baby! I have no one to thank but God!