Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Evolving...

Evolving is what I've done in the past year. Looking back, I've realized that it's the God in me that keeps me going, that keeps me striving to have the heart of gold. My life hasn't been ideal but I'm loving, learning & living it.

The hatred, anger or the sadness that people say I should have towards BJ has disappeared over time. He has disappointed me but because I don't speak of him in a negative way people automatically assume that I have feelings towards him. I only wish him the best in life & pray that God helps him turn a new leaf when it comes to our situation.

ON TO THE NEXT: well I've dated a few guys this year & they all seemed to be pretty good guys at the beginning then in the end they proved they weren't meant for me. On my birthday weekend, I've met someone that may be my match...he's a people person, funny, sincere & honest. We'll see if this goes anywhere. Going on a date will be our next step in this journey. As his cousin (which is a good friend of mine for 14+ yrs) said you'll never know til you try! :)

All the compassions of all the tender fathers in the world compared with the tender mercies of God would be but as a candle to the sun or a drop to the ocean. —Matthew Henry

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Making it work....


Even though my life is no where near the ideal of what it should be, I'm definitely blessed & grateful for everything that is going on.

When it comes to baby boy, I'm trying to make sure that things are set up for him in the future, whether his father decides to be involved or not. I'm doing my part & not blaming or hating him for not doing his part. Even though the whole situation is bittersweet, I'm thankful & blessed with a sweet baby boy. Which I love with all of my heart...praying for his father, that he gets the "BIG" picture & finally play a part in his son's life. Til then I'll keep making it work...

I'm currently dating someone that is more than enough for me. He's here for a reason, not sure what that is but we've matched each other with the way we look at life, love & religion. It's been a month & a half of getting to know each other...it's been too surreal. He feels about the same 'cause we're both on the path of success & settling down one day in the near future. Tells me I'm a blessing in disguise...doesn't know where I came from. *blushes* We will see what the future has in store for us.


"To choose to operate in love according to 1 Corinthians 13. That means being patient and kind. It means not seeking your own way, not being jealous or boastful. When you choose love instead of choosing your own way, you are showing the world that God is first place in your life. You are establishing yourself in love. The more you choose to walk in love, the deeper and stronger your roots will grow."

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It's been a minute...


I can't believe I haven't blogged in over a year...so much has been going on. Celebrated lil man's first birthday to his 1st Christmas that involves him opening up gifts. He is a lil character I must say. I've been blessed through every trial & adversity I've been through because this has made me a stronger person, woman & mother.

Kaleb is now 20 mths going on 3 yrs old...lol, jk! He's Mr. Independent & only wants to be loved up on when he's sleepy. He has a toddler bed now, which surprisingly he stays in or climbs in when he's sleepy. I love him deeply...never knew I could love a lil person this deeply.

Things are getting better when it comes to his father...I know the Lord is working behind the scene & this is only making me to accept that things don't happen on my time but on the Lord's time. Regardless of how he is acting or being, I would like to maintain a cordial relationship with him for lil man's sake.

The desires of my heart are being filled lil by lil as time goes on. I know to keep things going in a positive direction I need to continue to be submissive towards God. I trust Him fully & won't let anything that is controlled by humans to get me down. I'll definitely keep going even once I reach my goals & desires.

"Only being me...that's all I can be..."